We only smell, never kiss the ground

How many times in our daily life, we think that we're on the edge of the world. Lower than ever. Touch bottom line of life, hit our limit, and sink into the ground..
Yeah, we think that we are. Many many times.

But then, when u have another box of problem-desperate-stress another time, u'll think again. Ouch no, now I am in the bottom-est.

Me, had the same experience.
2010 
Had an extra stressful job back then in Singapore, lost my happiness, dissapointed on someone close, family financial difficulties.
That time, I really thought I was about to fall, I had no life to be grateful of then I cursed God "why u put me here? I can't do it, this is my lowest level"
2011-2012
My dad passed away after super-drained efforts, broken-apart family, financially collapsed, got sudden new responsibilities for dad role, ran family business and stopped my architect-freelance job, got infected by viral disease.
I fell-crawl-fell-crawl-fell several times.
I swore to God "this is my lowest level in my life".
My life was a TOTAL HELL.
My life was a COMPLETE BULLSHIT.
I kissed the ground. I thought so.
I hit my bottom line, I bumped-fell-dragged along the ground.
I cried almost everynight at first, then twice a week, then once a week, then twice a month, then once a month on pms, then once in a while.
I was a total desperate woman in her 26
Painful huh?


But wait...
How the hell I'm still here, okay?
Come to now, I relook-rethink-rewind and really feel it.
*yet i still amaze with this little truth*
My life was a TOTAL HELL.
My life was a COMPLETE BULLSHIT.
I kissed the ground. I thought so.
 
I didn't kiss the ground, I only smell it.

O-N-L-Y   S-M-E-L-L

As just right BEFORE I kiss the ground, hands come.
Hands u'll never expect
Hands that offer u helps
Hands that listen to ur suffer and advise
Hands that never let u alone
Hands that make u feel loved
Hands to realize precious light inside us
Hands to get back strength within us
Hands that hold u from kissing ground
Hands that always build us to live through
 
To keep on going in life, good or bad. To move bravely to face our shiny future
To stand tallest-biggest-longest to our dreams. To have faith.
And I guess this is how universe works.

" My life is a  TOTAL  CHALLENGE
   My life is a  COMPLETE  PLACE  TO  LEARN "

Universe will never let us kiss it, we only smell.
Smell that will never be forgotten
Smell that will grow us better
Smell that will open our heart, our mind wider
Smell that will complete our two sides life series
Smell that will fragrance our lessons
Smell that SUCK at first and SWEET at last

I had, yet, my biggest lesson.
Smacked down, probably an inch away to the ground.
The smell that probably put a deep scar in me.
The smell that is strong and memorable.
I still sick of it sometimes. But i keep believing
Universe never sleeps, never loses their eyes on u
Universe never comes too late...
Whatever it was, it is...
HANG ON, guys.
U and I will go through this.
We'll make it. BELIEVE.

"There can be miracles, when you believe

Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill

Who knows what miracles you can achieve

When you believe, somehow you will

You will when you believe" , When you believe - Whitney Houston