i was in a LONG-DISTANCE relationship, i failed then i learnt ( FINAL )

So why I share this stories?
 

For 5 years, I still have this guilty feeling that I didn't do my best to keep him.
Him as the guy whom I loved just too much, treated me so well, i deserved. 

But I didn't.
I didn't give my best shot for him.
"U'll never know what u've got til it's gone"

So here i am, giving my best shot for all of u. 

Stories written and shared is my final move on part

esp. for those who's still trying, learning in long distance relationships.. 
To help it WORKS
To give u spirit how u should try even more for ur love.
To let u know how did it hurt me. i thought i'd never be healed.
 
I dedicate this for whoever needs it. It's far from perfect. It's personal.
My life and yours won't be the same. My path will be different with yours.
But, learning from others is nothing to lose

i was in a LONG-DISTANCE relationship, i failed then i learnt (6)

Now it's been about 5years since i broke up with my ex
 

Move on from someone who was a part-inside ur future will never be easy
It is HARD.
But I keep repeating to myself  'Nothing is impossible' 

and that literally helped me, a lot

There are times when I still cry over him, when I look back our albums, 

listening to that songs 

and wondering 'why shouldn't I just mean for him so everything will be easier?',

hoping desperately that I'll be with him again one day.
But... everytime I feel down,I act harder to myself as I need to.
I never let my sadness control me.
I take control of my life
I do positive activities, busy-ing my minds
I listen to moved-on love songs
I read books
I go out with friends
Most of the time, I WIN.

i was in a LONG-DISTANCE relationship, i failed then i learnt (5)

[ i was in another relationship ]

i wasn't in love with him

i was lost of myself, i was in need to hang on someone else

i tried my best to love him

but, again, i was wrong

 "when u're falling in love, u just fall

  u won't need to push urself to fall"

i was in a LONG-DISTANCE relationship, i failed then i learnt (4)

few months after, he came back to our hometown for holiday.. it wasn't for me.

i hoped too much that he'd find me.. he didn't

i lived my life in worries 'will i cry or will i bump into him if i meet him now?'

i didn't try to find him 

his next birthday, i messaged him saying "happy birthday"

he replied and me replied, we messaged several time.

waiting him to reply my message, i felt back the excitement and happiness

my smile came back to its place..

i realized how dull my life was without him,

i was shivering to imagine how i lived my zombie life

so, i thought that was the right time to talk to him, i wanted to be with him

took-off my pride, ensured my mind

"this is my last chance to be with him..if not now, then when?"

i was in a LONG-DISTANCE relationship, i failed then i learnt (3)

"is this for real??maybe im just dreaming"

i kept thinking about it.

i didn't cry, i felt  n-o-t-h-i-n-g....i felt emptiness

"this emotion inside leads me no where"

it was REAL

the next day, i was waken up by the reality that no more phone calls, no more messages, no more chatting

no more him with me..

no more "in a relationship"

no one i could call "hunny"

all of our stuffs, songs, places became only memories

then i started to cry out, silently

i was in a LONG-DISTANCE relationship, i failed then i learnt (2)

This is how far the distance was..8656.30miles/ 13930.58km

My life was ALL ABOUT HIM that time. 

So as he went there, my dreams was been able to go to San Fransisco. 

I became a dreamer-girl about how i'll see how beautiful Golden Gate Bridge is, going to the place where he always does his routine and have super great time together with him.

He excitedly told me that kissing on street/bus/anywhere u want is common over there, and he wanted to do it with me.

I was sincerely happy for him, as he was so happy to be there. 

He always said "U have to come here, i love to stay here".

Bitter sweet that i felt happy but also sad because i didn't have him in 3d for some time.

As well for

No good internet connection, no webcam, no skype, 
no private line number 

Okay, it's like a hundred years ago...but that was the real condition for our "Long Distance Relationship"

i was in a LONG-DISTANCE relationship, i failed then i learnt (1)

Everyone has their own story in relationship...so am i 

Just get started with the hardest one...

We were a high-school couple, i was only 17th, deeply in love with him. 

After our graduation, he decided to pursue his bachelor in San-Fransisco; whereas i pursued my dream to be an architect in Bandung, a small city.

So,that time we asked for each other "Can we make it?" 

Until finally we agreed to have the long distance relationship.
We were about two years that time.

[ i still can recall how sad i was a night before his flight, 
in the morning i couldn't stop crying over the phone, made it harder for him to leave as i kept asking "should u leave? what if we break up? will u still love me as u're so far? u have to promise me that u'll go back.. bring back our notes-hug me tightly-make a heart symbol on my palm" ]