Nov 7, 2012

Love turns people insane

indeed, love turns people insane
(1) right and good love insanity
     right means u're having this love insanity when u are single or not in any commitment with someone, ie: flirting, falling head over heels over someone
     good means u don't play with someone's heart and feeling, with or without purpose
(2) wrong and bad love insanity
    wrong means u're (intentionally or unintentionally) having this love insanity when u are in a relationship or commited with someone, ie: having an affair, cheating, flirting and friendzoning 
    bad means u play with someone's heart and feeling, defend it with any excuses *most of the time*, with or without purpose
 
Which one happen mostly?

right and good love insanity
NO. the wrong and bad love insanity.
Let's take a look carefully..
"how many times in our daily life we heard A is falling head over heels into B?"
"how many times in our daily life we heard C is cheating with D even D is in a relationship (vice versa), or E is friendzoning F while E is engaged to G (vice versa), or H is the third party between J and K?"
Don't know why lately this wrong-and-bad-love-insanity seems like a trend. Maybe as the world goes open-minded then having opposite gender labelled as bestfriend is normal, then some misused or misinterpretated it by being too close like a couple with bestfriend status is also normal? 
Us, people simply don't admit or don't realize or don't try to realize when they're in a wrong-and-bad-love insanity.

 We'll say lame excuses like:
1. "I have no choice, this feeling just happen..new B suddenly steps into my life and i like to be with him.....
I'm sorry for old A but i can't leave him either, he's my boyfriend"

Do we ever realize that we always and always have choices in our life?
The remote control is OURS, not others
The least we have are "Accept it or Change it or Leave it"
**remember to choose one, dont blabber u have no choice dear**
Accept it    Take a brave decision, go with the flow of ur current feeling, be with new B and leave old A, or
Change it  Hold onto ur commitment with old A by easing away ur feeling towards new B, have
some crystal-clear distant and a bold line between u and new B, or 
Leave it     Let it happen the way it is, secretly pamper urself with both. Flirting with new B (or label his as ur bestfriend) and still in a relationship with old A   
So,is it universe's fault to destine it happen or is it OUR CHOICE?

 
tips, don't just be with someone because u afraid of being lonely. When u do this, u'll find someone whom u really into when u're in a relationship with someone else. U hurt people when u wash away commitment.
Imagine other side pain before being irrational. What if the person who said it is ur spouse, "Honey, I fall into someone else. I can't hold it, just happen. Sorry, I have to be with her". DANG!!!


2.
"He's just my best friend...impossible that he likes me"
**he refers to opposite gender of attraction, might be replaced to she**
For minor cases, yes this is true. There are few pure friendship between a woman and a man.
But major happens another way..

So if u are in a relationship or commited to someone and u insist to have this 'too close best-boy-friend'
"Watch urself closely, u might get burnt by ur own fire"
Most of the time, we'll be too subjective, stubborn insisting that "it's still considered normal", while it is not.
Thus, this is prime time to hear closest friends and-or family opinion, person who care about u will advise u objectively and keep u going on right track. 
don't we experience it?

Human has ego where we always want more 
for some reason, some time, somehow, one is just not enough.
But our heart is designed to fit only one heart.
Having a main-course boyfriend completed with a dessert best-boy-friend is definitely life delicacy, not forgetting, also a life trap
Just like Adam was tempted to bite an apple even when he knew he wasn't supposed to
Human intend to forget their limit.
Human intend to plant bad karma seed.
Human intend to realize their mistake, after.

Personally,
it's possible impossible to have a boyfriend and too close best-boy-friend in the same time. Choose, then prior one.

**What if to have a boyfriend and best-girl-friend in the same time? it's impossible possible as it doesn't involve opposite gender attraction and chances of fallinginlove to only one person, boyfriend**

tips, go ahead creating great memories with ur best-boy-friend as u like when u're single. But then when u are in a relationship, appreciate ur relationship with ur boyfriend and get appropriate distant with ur best-boy-friend
How??
- treat ur best-boy-friend as ur best friend, only, not more.
- not to tag him and his time as yours
- not to be with him all the time, more than ur time with ur boyfriend

- not to act or joke cheesy-sweety-bunny as if u're a couple
- not to be jealous or cranky when he's with another girl
- set the clear line between u both.
- have NO FEELING, no flirting at all for both party
- stop listing excuses to explain ur status with him

- stop doing any silly thing to ease ur guilty
- stop texting everyday and waiting for his reply 
- never ever have any intimate physical contact, in reality or in ur dream. Bestfriend have no lust dear.
- never ever be in a forever friendzoning, get a life!

If u can't strictly hold into these appropriate distant with ur best-boy-friend, then UNFRIEND HIM NOW.  
IT WILL NEVER WORK IN A GOOD WAY WHEN U DON'T DO ANY GOOD INTENTION TO SOLVE IT.
In the end, either u hurt ur boyfriend or ur best-boy-friend and also urself. 
so u hit at least 2 birds down with one stone, huh?
Get a firm decision as hurting people is never right.
  • If u think that ur boyfriend is the one and u truly love him then appreciate him by knowing ur limit with ur best-boy-friend. Put boyfriend as ur first class priority **well, if u really love him u won't intentionally and conciously hurting him ;)**
  • If u think that ur best-boy-friend understands and cares u more, loveable-smarter-simply better than ur boyfriend than be true to urself and break up with ur boyfriend.
*wanna read others experience? here's link for friendzone wall telling real stories-real experiences-real sharings of how they start-do-dwell with friendzoning, with or without purpose*

6 comments:

  1. Oh my god! You deliver the issue very well written!!!
    "Having main-course boy friend completed with dessert best-boy-friend is definitely life delicacy" --> Hahaha LOL. No wonder so many people loves to cheat. it is a delicacy indeed.

    I TOTALLY agree with your no.1 reason. Yes, we DO ALWAYS have choice in life. I had this situation once and the first thing I did when I realized I fell in love with other guy was, break up with my boyfriend. In the end I didn't have two of them or neither of them, but at least I still have my integrity!!! HELL YEAH!

    Lately I found a lot of my girlfriends doing this thing, (having a desert) and I don't know whyyyy. Is this some kind of phenomenon?

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    1. Glad that u like it,hahaha
      The longest time, ever, needed to write.

      "Lately I found a lot of my girlfriends doing this thing, (having a desert) and I don't know whyyyy. Is this some kind of phenomenon?" ---> phenomenon of having life delicacy LOL

      thanks for the comment :D

      Delete
  2. wawwww this is indeed super long writing....hahaha...
    well..let me give my opinion... :) as you know, i never believe in a "best-friend" relationship between man and woman. It is soooo human when man and woman get attracted to each other as they become closer and closer for whatever reasons. And there is always a reason(s) that make them cant get together, then they will start to name it: best-friend, brother-sister, etc.
    I am not saying that man and woman can't make friend. They do. But just a friend, not a best friend. We will definitely understand the limit of what we can do for a friend and what we can do for a best-friend. There is a clear line in between.
    So based on this thought, for me, a best-friend label between man and woman is not real and simply a big denial. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha, will do another longer post ;p
      I get ur point and agree that "best-boy-friend" is a label made and recently is misused to hide what's real, for denial (just like u said).
      Sometimes, those best-boy-friend status named after society needs, as if it helps to lessen guilt for what goes more than -friend-.
      But then i also still believe that there are real friendship between man & woman, most likely in low rate :). With or without those label, the friendship is there.

      Appreciate the comments :D

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  3. from the title, i agree in the first place...
    love just did turn the whole world upside down...
    but why is it just a little bit like "sin" to have a close-friend relationship ??

    cause myself don't know why that kind of relationship is more exciting .... Hahaha...

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    Replies
    1. hahahaha.. indeed, it feels exciting to have a too-close bestfriend. We're human, we "enjoy" sin.
      Just from my perspective, karma does exist so when u dont want to get hurt, dont hurt others.. having a too-close bestfriend when u're in a relationship *most of the time* caused pain to our spouses and misused :).
      so why bother to set some distant with too-close best friend for the sake of spouse? :)

      Delete