Lately ,ever since I turned to 24 or maybe earlier, people started to question simply because my age is considered as ready to get married.
When I attend relatives or friends wedding, when I go to mall and coincidentally meet old friend, when I post my perspective about being single happy in twitter or facebook. And probably after publishing this blog.
"Hi.."
"Hi.."
"Where is ur boyfriend? R u coming here alone?"
"Oh, I'm coming with friends.. I don't have boyfriend"
*with almost burst-out eyeballs*
"Whyyyy are u still single? U're lying right? And Oh.. Maybe u're too picky.. Nobody's perfect, umm maybe u set ur standard way too high"
".........."
I start to just put my plain fake smile to whoever ask me this question.
Seriously, what's wrong?
What's wrong with single while this is my life and me, the owner, am okay with it.
I do feel like kick out of community whom most of them are couple, engaged, married or even had kids.
I do feel like an alien who is still single in my "marriage-age" in my country. I'm still way too young to get married in some other country though.
I do feel like people tend to interfere my personal-life where I feel alright.
And I'm bored, yet sick being asked for the same question.
we hear it so many times, yet most of people seem to forget. That everything has their own timing.
My time and yours might be different.
*If u met your one already, before ur marriage age, then be grateful for it and great. I'm sincerely happy for u, u're blessed.
* If u haven't met your one yet, even ur marriage age is ticking, then be happy with ur present moment and great. Our bless just haven't arrived. But it WILL.
Nothing is wrong.
I enjoy time while I still can have my me time. Do whatever I want to do while I don't have futher responsibilities that I might have later. Grow and challenge my ownself even better while I have an opportunity.
From some friends stories, I realize that are some perception like:
1. Being single causes unhappiness in life. I'm telling u it doesn't always come that way.
Being single also causes lots happiness in life.
It depends on how we see it. Just like any other things in life.
Happiness obtained within ourself, with or without someone else, single or in a relationship. Your status in relationship doesn't define how happy u are.
"in a relationship" doesn't always mean happier than "single" (vice versa)
"Be happy with urself, get ur own life first then share it"
2. Being happy single is the same as choosing to be forever alone and perfectly don't need any spouse in life. it ISN'T. All I can say is don't get things mixed.
We all human have social needs.
We'd like to have someone to lean on, to share with, to love and to be loved.
We'd like to make our dream wed come true, wear wedding gown, walk in aisle vowing together with our lifetime partner.
We'd like to build our own little family for the rest of life.
We'd like to grow old together with someone, not alone.
We'd like to be someone special in someone else's life.
And even a single, dream about it. We have right to accomplish it, one day. Get the point right.
My close friends ever asked me: "Don't u feel lonely being single for so long?"
My answer is "Yes..I do feel lonely, sometimes"
BUT i simply wait for someone right to fill my loneliness.
It's worth waiting for. It isn't worth rushing for.
Not only with 'just anyone' who's coming in front of me now
Not only grab anyone who's interested to me and offer diamond
Not only because my mom think I should get married soon
Not only because all my friends are coupled or married
Not only because my marriage age.
Right person, right time, right place.
It's a lifetime commitment dear, don't mess.
"Be grateful for whatever given this time, be happy in all seasons"
Falling in love with the person, NOT with the companionship, Tiny Buddha
So true!!!
ReplyDeletePeople who's afraid of being single usually won't have a happy marriage.
We have to love ourselves and comfortable of being alone before we start to let people entering our lives afterall.
=)